You Tea Eye
I was gonna write a fun but more serious summary of my time in Thailand, but when I sat down to do it I didn't know how so now I'm just writing another shitpost about life with my new plumbing.
About a week ago I found out I had my first UTI. Just over a month since I got it, and my vj is already infected. I knew UTIs were common among the vaginally-endowed, but I thought I might at least catch a break for a few months while I wear in the new equipment. It took me a while to realise I had one too, cause the common symptoms are feeling you need to pee and a stinging sensation when you do. Well, my vagina hurts about 50% of the time anyway at the moment, so if there was any stinging I just assumed it was all part of the regular day to day of just having had your dick cut up and rearranged. And I'm new to this whole vagina thing, so if I think I need to pee and then find out I can't I usually conclude that it's because I have no idea what I'm doing. Then the other day it felt like my liver was going to explode, and so I went to the doctor and he said 'you have a UTI'. I got some antibiotics and now I feel a lot better, but my doctor has rung a few times to emphasise that I got the multi-resistant superbug version cause South-East Asia sells antibiotics over the counter, so it might get worse again.
I think all new vaginas should come with warranties. If the surgery had happened in NZ I guess I could Consumer Guarantees Act the surgeon. Good quality vaginas don't get infected with multi-resistant South-East Asian superbugs after less than 2 months, and I (we, actually) paid nearly 25 THOUSAND dollars for this one, so it should pretty much be better than any other vaginas on the market. My surgeon is in Thailand though, and also I ran out of condoms and my syringe broke at the same time, right before I got this you tea eye, so I might have developed a multi-resistant South-East Asian superbug because I wasn't able to be as hygienic as possible. My bad. Also, for the record, my vagina is the best one on the market because I've seen others and they're shit.
Dilation continues to be nothing but a blast. I get up at 6.15 and do it, then again at around 1.30pm after work, and then just before bed at 8.30. I guess I just can't get enough of it. I'll often leave social events early because I just HAVE to dilate. I've even changed up my work schedule to fit in the afternoon sesh. I love it. The last few days it's been unbearably painful after each one, which is fine because I'm actually really into BDSM so I get a lot of sexual pleasure from pain. In the past I haven't really been into BDSM, but I guess I am now. Or I think I would be if I could experience sexual pleasure, but at the moment there's too much pain, so it's just all pain and no pleasure. Absolutely love it though. I think I'll do a lot of BDSM once everything's up and running.
Being back at work is great too. I work for an internet service provider if you didn't know. First person to call me once I got back and - you'll never believe this - his internet wasn't working! I thought 'Wow, what a treat'. The best part was that the rest of the calls that shift were also from people whose internet wasn't working! Couldn't believe my luck. Actually there was this one woman who didn't know how to get through to her voice mail. The twist? She was dialing the wrong number! Oh boy, my colleagues and I chuckled about that one.
Here's a picture of the post-op care guide we all got given. No, it isn't photo-shopped - this is really what they gave us.
Okay hope you enjoyed the blog bye.
About a week ago I found out I had my first UTI. Just over a month since I got it, and my vj is already infected. I knew UTIs were common among the vaginally-endowed, but I thought I might at least catch a break for a few months while I wear in the new equipment. It took me a while to realise I had one too, cause the common symptoms are feeling you need to pee and a stinging sensation when you do. Well, my vagina hurts about 50% of the time anyway at the moment, so if there was any stinging I just assumed it was all part of the regular day to day of just having had your dick cut up and rearranged. And I'm new to this whole vagina thing, so if I think I need to pee and then find out I can't I usually conclude that it's because I have no idea what I'm doing. Then the other day it felt like my liver was going to explode, and so I went to the doctor and he said 'you have a UTI'. I got some antibiotics and now I feel a lot better, but my doctor has rung a few times to emphasise that I got the multi-resistant superbug version cause South-East Asia sells antibiotics over the counter, so it might get worse again.
I think all new vaginas should come with warranties. If the surgery had happened in NZ I guess I could Consumer Guarantees Act the surgeon. Good quality vaginas don't get infected with multi-resistant South-East Asian superbugs after less than 2 months, and I (we, actually) paid nearly 25 THOUSAND dollars for this one, so it should pretty much be better than any other vaginas on the market. My surgeon is in Thailand though, and also I ran out of condoms and my syringe broke at the same time, right before I got this you tea eye, so I might have developed a multi-resistant South-East Asian superbug because I wasn't able to be as hygienic as possible. My bad. Also, for the record, my vagina is the best one on the market because I've seen others and they're shit.
Dilation continues to be nothing but a blast. I get up at 6.15 and do it, then again at around 1.30pm after work, and then just before bed at 8.30. I guess I just can't get enough of it. I'll often leave social events early because I just HAVE to dilate. I've even changed up my work schedule to fit in the afternoon sesh. I love it. The last few days it's been unbearably painful after each one, which is fine because I'm actually really into BDSM so I get a lot of sexual pleasure from pain. In the past I haven't really been into BDSM, but I guess I am now. Or I think I would be if I could experience sexual pleasure, but at the moment there's too much pain, so it's just all pain and no pleasure. Absolutely love it though. I think I'll do a lot of BDSM once everything's up and running.
Being back at work is great too. I work for an internet service provider if you didn't know. First person to call me once I got back and - you'll never believe this - his internet wasn't working! I thought 'Wow, what a treat'. The best part was that the rest of the calls that shift were also from people whose internet wasn't working! Couldn't believe my luck. Actually there was this one woman who didn't know how to get through to her voice mail. The twist? She was dialing the wrong number! Oh boy, my colleagues and I chuckled about that one.
Here's a picture of the post-op care guide we all got given. No, it isn't photo-shopped - this is really what they gave us.
LOST YOUR DEPTH LOST FOREVER!!
Okay hope you enjoyed the blog bye.
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