Raw and Wriggling

Title is a reference to Gollum for no particular reason.

Here's the moment nobody has been waiting for: a blog by me.

I don't remember what happened in the last episode, but the latest episode is definitely more boring and a much bigger waste of your time. See, my life pretty much just consists of dilating, watching netflix and playing video games. I also work a little bit. The kind of thing that is amazing for like 2 days, before it begins to slowly drive you insane. It also means I have nothing to talk about, so I really don't know why I'm writing this.

I've been trialing dilating two times a day a bit earlier than I'm supposed to, mainly due to it ruining my life. Dilating has literally made me cry multiple times, either from pain or just frustration at having to do it. I do really like crying though - it's really satisfying. When I was pretending to be a man I used to watch sad movies to make me cry. What I didn't realise is that I could have just dilated my then-anus over and over. It's still an anus by the way. I just said 'then-anus' to make you wonder.

My sister gave me a scented candle recently. It smells real nice. There's nothing else to say about that.

Oh! My hair dryer isn't working properly. It overheats about 2 minutes into using it. I'm thinking, shouldn't a hair dryer be able to handle the heat? I guess I'll get a new one at some point.

I've been to two weddings in the last month. Both times the bride and groom successfully got married, and all the guests enjoyed themselves.

How about Simon Bridges? He seems alright. He says things like "look", "actually", and "as a matter of fact". Apparently he's 41, but I reckon he looks closer to 40. He's Maori too, although I think he has never actually admitted that out loud until now.

I heard that some more of state highway 1 is reopening, which is huge news as someone who regularly travels to Kaikoura to go deep sea diving. You won't find anyone who loves the outdoors more than me. They all recognise me up there. They'll say: "Here she is", and "That bloody Rosie's at it again".

I saw in my news feed that there's some people wanting to open up a huge chicken farm up yonder. My philosophy on food is that if you couldn't catch it, you shouldn't eat it. That's why I'm a vegetarian. Plants are easy to catch if you know what you're doing.

Anyway, that's about all the bullshit I can muster to make this take longer than 2 minutes to read. I hope the 4 people who asked me to keep writing blogs are happy. I'll write another one when something happens in my life.