Urethra Frankly

I haven't written a blog in over a year. I've decided to title this one 'Urethra Frankly', because this blog is about my vagina and lately my urethra has been a bit tight. So they tell me anyway. Also, it sounds like Aretha Franklin. "But Rosie, vaginas don't sing!" Mines does, and it sounds like Aretha Franklin. 

What's happened in the last year? Well, much to the disappointment of audiences all over Christchurch, I've been doing stand up comedy. I'm also a receptionist at my local friendly pole dancing studio, and I'm back at uni studying law and politics. Anyway, that's the big update all done.

It's assessment week at uni. I wouldn't say this blog is procrastination, but I'm definitely intentionally delaying all the work I have to do by writing this. I have to sentence a hypothetical man to prison. He isn't a particularly nice man from what I can tell, but that's hardly his fault. It doesn't seem fair when I think about it. He doesn't have free will - he didn't choose to be bad. Some university lecturer just wrote him that way. Really, she should be the one going to prison for creating a hypothetical person purely as an exercise in sentencing for 150 law students. That's sadistic. I don't even think I'll do the assignment actually. I think I'm going to lay a complaint with the university, or maybe the government.

My urethra is a bit tight because apparently it has a stricture. I went a specialist and he said I needed surgery. I told him he needed to watch his mouth. No I didn't really say that! But I did tell him that I will have a surgical appointment please. I got a letter the other day saying "We will perform surgery on the 13th of June", so I rung them and said "Hello, I would like to reschedule". The 13th of June is the day before one of my exams!

The problem with having a tight urethra is all of the peeing. There are some days where I have peed 10-15 times before midday. Apparently this is because my bladder won't 'void' properly, which means that it doesn't empty. Sometimes it gets quite uncomfortable, and sometimes even painful. It's a bit like having a UTI, except worse in every conceivable way. The solution is to always have a full stomach, and also coffee helps for some reason. The coffee drinking part is easy, but I don't like eating very much so that's tough.

What else? I made a New Year's resolution to wear more hats, and that's been going quite well. I've been wearing hats at least 2-3 times per week, though not necessarily for a whole day at once. I've got room for improvement, but overall I'm very proud of myself for achieving this goal. The downside is that my room is filthier than it's ever been, and sometimes I wonder if that's because of all the time I've been spending wearing hats - I don't have time to clean my room anymore. I think that's the hard part about achieving your goals. There's always some sort of unforeseen sacrifice that you have to make. For me, if I want to wear hats more then my room gets messier. That's just the way it is.

I will probably go to bed now. Thanks for reading. Kia ora.


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